from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
sex in a hospital.. check
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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