The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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