I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
