He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize