Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
