The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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