I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize