Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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