well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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