do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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