U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
