Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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