I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
