i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
