im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
