Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
