Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
