we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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