ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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