i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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