i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
