I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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