if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
