Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
