Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
