and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
