Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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