is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
