It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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