Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
