Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
