oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize