I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
