i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize