Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
