maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
