I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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