i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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