i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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