I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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