put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
