That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
