Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
