I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
