when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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