And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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