in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
