i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
