Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
