my sisters under your porch take her home
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
