I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize