Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
