i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
