This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
