do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize