holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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