I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
