fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
