I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize