thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
