By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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