Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Dear god my vagina.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
