Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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