I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
