if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize