Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize