What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
