nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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