if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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