YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize