Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize