sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
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